5 Psychologist-Approved Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety & Fear of Judgment
Social Anxiety Treatment: 5 Psychologist-Approved Ways to Overcome the Fear of Judgment
Do you feel your heart racing before entering a room full of people? Do you constantly worry about what others are thinking of you? If yes, you are not alone.
Social Anxiety is more than just shyness; it is a crippling fear of being judged, rejected, or humiliated. According to Psychologist Dr. Kashika Jain, the root cause of this anxiety often stems from a deep-seated feeling of inferiority—whether it’s about your looks, financial status, or background—and the habit of comparing yourself to others.
The good news? Social anxiety is not a life sentence. It is a pattern of thinking that can be broken.
Here are 5 powerful, actionable tips from Dr. Kashika Jain to help you silence your inner critic and reclaim your confidence.
1. Challenge Your “Mind Reading” Habit
The biggest trap of social anxiety is Cognitive Distortion, specifically “Mind Reading.” Before you even step into an event, your brain starts predicting the worst: “They will laugh at me,” or “They are all staring at me.”
Psychologists call this the Spotlight Effect—the false belief that everyone is noticing your every move.
- The Reality: People are self-absorbed. They are too busy worrying about their own lives, their own appearance, and their own conversations to analyze yours.
- ** The Fix:** When negative thoughts arise, do not fight them. Accept them: “Okay, I am feeling scared, but I will go anyway.” Treat it as an experiment. Go to the event and look around—you will see that no one is actually staring at you.
2. The “Coffee Shop” Technique (Mindful Observation)
Your mind loves to live in the past (regrets) or the future (worry). Anxiety cannot survive in the present moment. To train your brain, Dr. Jain suggests a simple Exposure Exercise:
- Step 1: Go to a local coffee shop alone.
- Step 2: Buy a drink, sit down, and do nothing but observe.
- Step 3: Look at the people around you.
You will notice that everyone is in their own bubble. Some are on their phones, some are laughing, some are working. No one is sitting there waiting to attack or judge you. This simple act of observation breaks the illusion that the world is watching you.
3. The “Breath & Affirmation” Reset
When anxiety hits, your body goes into “Fight or Flight” mode. To hack this system, you need to use your breath.
- Focus on Breathing: When you feel panic rising, shift 100% of your focus to your inhale and exhale. The mind cannot chatter when it is fully focused on the breath.
- Use Affirmations: While breathing, repeat internal safety cues:
- “I am calm.”
- “I am safe.”
- “I am relaxed.”
This signals your nervous system that there is no immediate danger, causing the physical symptoms of anxiety to fade.
4. Fake It Till You Make It (Physiology Hacks)
Your mind and body are deeply connected. If your mind is scared, your shoulders slump. But it works the other way too—if you change your body language, your mind must follow.
Even if you are terrified inside:
- Stand tall: Pull your shoulders back.
- Smile: Even a fake smile triggers positive chemicals in the brain.
- Make Eye Contact: Act like a confident person would.
Dr. Jain explains that if you maintain a “Confident Physiology” long enough, your brain eventually gets convinced that you are confident.
5. Stop Waiting, Start Initiating
You cannot learn to swim by sitting on the shore; you have to get into the water. Similarly, you cannot cure social anxiety by staying in your room.
- Find Opportunities: Don’t wait for an invitation. If your family or friends are going out, volunteer to join them.
- Do Your Homework: If you are afraid of running out of things to say, prepare beforehand. Read up on current events or general topics.
- Be a Listener: You don’t always have to be the speaker. If you don’t know about a topic, ask questions and be a good listener.
Be Your Own Best Friend
Social anxiety thrives on self-criticism. We often tell ourselves, “I can’t do this,” or “I am useless.”
Stop being your own enemy. As Dr. Jain concludes, “No one is sitting out there with a sword to behead you.” The fear is imaginary. Be kind to yourself. Hug yourself metaphorically and say, “I am with you.”
Every time you face a fear, the fear dies a little. Start small, take action, and watch your confidence grow.
